My in-laws recently moved into a care facility (he has dementia and she is paralyzed on entire left side). They now want to move back home. They need round the clock care, and don't have the money to pay for that at home. They have an unhealthy dependency on their daughter and my husband (we live 3 hours from them AND my husband and I own our own business). It's a toxic situation, unfortunately, and is taking a tremendous toll on their children. Please pray their hearts would change and that they'd both be in agreement to stay where they are getting the help they need. Please pray they'd set aside their own selfishness and consider what is best for everyone. This has been going on now for 2 years, and isn't sustainable. This family is being ripped apart over their decisions.
Back in the 80s I had a friend whose grandfather was in a care home because of dementia. He was always trying to "escape" and he usually managed it quite well. My friend was the chosen family member to get him back, so she usually had to leave work and find him. She worked for her dad so that was a blessing in this very trying situation for her. Anyway, she or the police would find him and it was difficult convincing him to go back.
I also knew a woman who was a resident of the assisted living community I was in and the staff told me not to agree too take her to her home to get some things she forgot. She had dementia and believed it had only been a few days since she left her home when, in fact, it had been years and the home had already been gone for a long time.
Please don't think your in laws are being selfish. The dementia is the culprit not the father-in-law and it sounds like your mother-in-law is to disabled to cope with her husband.
You and your family might want to get some counseling for families who deal with dementia. I believe it will give you a better understanding of your in laws and also bring you some peace in dealing with this very sad, trying situation. I know my comment is based on very little information about your situation but I hope I have helped in some way. I will, of course, be praying for you and your family and I would like, if you want to, to keep in touch. God Bless:) Your friend and sister in the Lord, Annie.
Back in the 80s I had a friend whose grandfather was in a care home because of dementia. He was always trying to "escape" and he usually managed it quite well. My friend was the chosen family member to get him back, so she usually had to leave work and find him. She worked for her dad so that was a blessing in this very trying situation for her. Anyway, she or the police would find him and it was difficult convincing him to go back.
I also knew a woman who was a resident of the assisted living community I was in and the staff told me not to agree too take her to her home to get some things she forgot. She had dementia and believed it had only been a few days since she left her home when, in fact, it had been years and the home had already been gone for a long time.
Please don't think your in laws are being selfish. The dementia is the culprit not the father-in-law and it sounds like your mother-in-law is to disabled to cope with her husband.
You and your family might want to get some counseling for families who deal with dementia. I believe it will give you a better understanding of your in laws and also bring you some peace in dealing with this very sad, trying situation. I know my comment is based on very little information about your situation but I hope I have helped in some way. I will, of course, be praying for you and your family and I would like, if you want to, to keep in touch. God Bless:) Your friend and sister in the Lord, Annie.
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