Bible Discussion Thread

I married a man this past August and I feel he only uses me for my money and my help. I need prayer to know that he truly loves me. He lets me pay the bills and never buys me anything to show me he cares. We are both Christians and I don't understand how he can let me pay his bills with money I work hard for. Everything I own was paid for before I married him. I feel if I don't do what he wants or I gain weight he will put me on the road as he has told me this many times. I don't know what to do as I love him. I pray but noting is changing. I need to know he loves me for me and not for what I can do for him. Please pray for me as my heart hurts when he tells me he could make me leave. He tells me he loves me but I'm not sure! Isn't the man suppose to take care of the woman? Please pray with me.

Dear Debra , I'm so sorry to hear of your plight , you don't give much information so I'll ask a few questions . Did you get to know this man well before you married him ? Has he just become like this or was this always part of his character ? I don't know how old you two are , people can and do change , if they want to , younger people especially . I'm in my fifties and I'm not the same person I was ten , twenty , thirty and forty years ago , neither is my husband . Change does take time though . If you are both young and in love then you must learn to work it out together with God's help . I know Christian wives are supposed to submit to their husbands but that doesn't mean you have to be a doormat . My husband has the last word on everything but , he listens to me and knows when I'm right and he's wrong and admits it , but it's taken us over twenty years to build our relationship to get it where it is today . You mustn't allow anyone to blackmail you . If you allow someone to disrespect you as a human , as a woman and as a Christian , they will keep doing it . You must first pray about all of these things , tell your Heavenly Father your worries , ask Him to intervene on your behalf , ask Him to open and soften your husband's heart . Be stronger in Christ , learn to stand up to him without disrespecting him . Learn to be assertive but not aggressive . It's not easy and it will take time but you must start as you mean to go on . Many people mistake kindness for weakness , show your husband that you are a loving wife but not a weak one . Be consistent and don't let him bully you , you are not a doormat , you are a Christian wife .

Do not give up on praying about your situation, I promise God hears you. I completely understand why you feel the way you feel. Ask God to open your eyes to the truth, but this is the key do not ignore the truth that God reveals to you. As a wife I feel for you. Be strong in the Lord. There is no problem too big for him.

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